C

Though I do not Correspond with you in Complete Corporal Correctness, I am off to Care for Children after I Consume my Coffee. Candidly, I have a bit of a Cough and my throat feels Charred, as though scorched by a Chemical.

Still, I am usually Charmed by the Children, at least at a few moments during the day. To my Chagrin, I forgot to Create a Construction Paper Collage of Rainbow fish using their Monday Craft results (sandpaper scales), but maybe they'll be so Collectively Compassionate- and Concerned about my Constitution- so as not to press Charges.

B

While I wait for my Boyfriend to Bring me a really Bad snack, I will Blog for B. I am listening to Beyonce's Best Thing I Never had. Not just Because of the Bs, I assure you!

I like Beyonce Because she's so positive, even when she's Bothered or when her heart is Broken. Watch her assure the subject of this new hit how much it "sucks to Be you right now!" with a Beautiful smile on her face. When I am Bed ridden with a fever and nasty sore throat, I turn to Beyonce for Buoyancy and strength. I can't wait until Beyonce is my generation's enduring icon. I can't wait for her to sing at the super Bowl. I can't think of anyone who would do it Better.

A

Actually, I am Absolutely unsure that I am Able to blog through the entire Alphabet. My Accuracy in former blogging challenges has been less than Amazing. Today, however, I am Ailing. I am Absent from my job Aiding the development of pre-Adolescent (As In, five And six year-old) Adventurers, Arranging Activities and Advocating Acquaintanceship.

As of now, I have spent this 2-Day Absence Articulating my displeasure and Aching interior in guttural "Augh" sounds. Also, I Attended a 5-hour America's Next Top Model marathon on Oxygen. Ann won. Ann. Starts with A. Awesome.

The Representatives

There are a lot of temperamental things in my life, like my involvement in my OWN blogging challenge, but something I count on to be great is Amy Poehler's NBC comedy "Parks and Recreation". I plan to watch it with Jenna and Josephine in real time when we're neighbors next year. Hopefully, it will gross us out less than Big Love.

Around the time Albee Grant was uttering "Round up all the dogs. Poison them", we were realizing that Big Love was not really an Us kind of a show. In contrast, Parks and Rec is the perfect Roz-Jenna-Josephine program, for its empowered female characters, affectionate mockery of the Hoosier state, and consistently hilarious one-liners.

Or so I thought! I'd been talking this show up to Adrian non-stop, which is why I was actually kind of excited when he showed up 6 minutes in to the Season 3 episode "Harvest Fest". I was pretty put out afterward, upon realizing that I had just screened the worst episode of Parks and Rec ever. Did this bad representation of my favorite show badly represent me?

I stressed about this intermittently for about 19 hours, until I went out for breakfast at Village Deli with Adrian today and sat next to -literally- the cutest kid at Y Camp. "Wow!" he said. "I didn't know you were here!"
"Me neither!" I replied gratefully. "But it's good to see you." Dollface's dad and I exchanged smiles, and I returned to my french toast, confident that via this shortstack-munching ambassador, my image had been restored. Thank god it wasn't the kid who kept correcting my gesturing during the Explorer song. That would have been disastrous.

Ok Ok

Been slacking on MY OWN challenge, but on Wednesday GoddessMom reviewed every movie I saw last week. Also, last week was the first week of camp!

I will probably refrain from blogging individual campers, because I am afraid of being reprimanded.

Suffice to say,

they are all very odd.

Can't blog until I make my schedule for tomorrow. One sec.

Second Wednesday Movie Review!!!

I have to act fast, 'Sphere, before Laney comes to take me to the swimming pool.

Administrative matters presiding: an official Rock-on-Roll apology to my bro and fellow June challenge participant ProntoPup, who I just noticed was until now not on my blog roll. That was awkwardly composed. I didn't just wake up and notice that he was all of a sudden on the blog roll. I also didn't just wake up; it's 2 in the afternoon!

Truth be told, I watched almost nothing this week that could be called a movie by modern convention. I could review another music video, or make like Em-Dex and review something from the summer book list (Visit from the Goon Squad = dece but not that satisfying, Golden Gate = poignant and delightful, Death of A Salesman = well, you know). But as the Challenge Coordinator, I sort of feel like I should follow through with the original criterion.

Well, whatever. I will just review Episode 3 of The Bachelorette: Season 7, since judging by the search terms in my stats, that franchise generates all my non-friend traffic. Episode 3 is like a movie in that it is 90+ minutes long and completed scripted. HEY-OOOO!!!

Burn! But seriously. I've long speculated that B and B'ette are among the most manicured "reality" shows, but this season's really taking the cake. The departure of Evil Guy "Bentley" (if that really is your name), rife with self-congratulations on being the first contestant ever who "played everyone", annoyance at "girls who just never stop crying" voiced over images of a tenderly comforted Ashley, and particularly disturbing appeals to his (certifiably real?) five year-old daughter, all but confirms our suspicious that Chris Harrison's dictating more than the final rose each night.

Which sucks! Because it's way more fun to speculate that a show is staged than to know it. This over-the-top intervention has soured the third week of Ashley's journey. Those producers! What liars. Isn't this about finding TRUE love?