Ya'll, I forgot to blog yesterday. When I realized this earlier today I thought that I would blog twice today, but now I am not feeling much up to it after seeing a documentary screening and live presentation by Minh Dang, an activist and survivor of child abuse and trafficking.
I am now working at Caffe Med, reading about what went down during the century of American history during which abortion was illegal. Author Leslie Reagan wants us to know that abortion in the Great Depression was commonplace, professionalized, and frequent (relative to more prosperous periods) across lines of class, race and marital status. In other news of the reproductive, I am reading (my) Professor Charis Thompson's book Making Parents: The Ontological Choreography of Reproductive Technologies. One thing the book discusses that I hadn't really thought about is the frequency with which egg donors and gestational surrogates are family members of the aspiring parents. In many cases, they are the best friends or sisters of the mother-to-be or father-to-be. In some cases, they are the mother-to-be's daughter (and father-to-be's stepdaughter, if the MTB is married). I am all about the creation of different kinds of families, but I will admit that the idea of giving my egg to a doctor who would mix it with my (fictional) stepdad's sperm and implant the resulting embryo in my mother's womb made me feel a little odd. Roomies agreed.
From an anti-essentialist standpoint, I can't really argue anything "wrong" with this arrangement in the hypothetical. Thompson notes the rhetoric that infertility patients and relative-donors use to protect themselves from accusations of incest, and while I sympathize (it's hard to imagine a more stigmatizing label), I don't think it was exactly that issue making me queasy. Actually, I was excited by the possibility that these Assisted Reproductive Technologies presented for legitimizing the collective raising of children by two or more committed parents outside of a sexual, heteronormative partnership; for example, people who are best friends or a set of siblings who want to share parenting. Something about the mother-daughter relationship startled me though, and I think it was this: in my understanding of consent in our contemporary, contextualized, constructed realityI'm uncomfortable with the potential for coercion when parents ask their children to donate genetic material.
Well. I don't even know if that's legit. I think there are a lot of ways to have a family, and that every family is different. I might regret this post in the morning; I'm just feeling too down to write anything cute. And, I love my family.
You are the Best.
ReplyDeleteI'm
just being honest.
I'm going to be thinking about this today. Remember I told you about the article where the woman had twins and their sperm/egg combos came from different moms, with her husb.
ReplyDeleteI thought that was pretty interesting.
Very interesting stuff. I will be thinking of it, too.
ReplyDeleteI've often thought about what I would do if someone asked me to be a surrogate, for some reason. I think I would say no. Donating an egg I might do for someone I loved. It's complicated!
Excellent work, @dailyros
Thanks for making me think too, Ros. Complicated stuff.
ReplyDeleteUpon waking, I rescind my previous discomfort- are we then to suppose that parents cannot ethically ask their children for anything at all? Not sure there's any need for a universal rule here, suffice to say jdoc got it right- complicated, nuanced stuff! Anyway, I feel better when I look at Nicki Minaj's Elle shoot.
ReplyDeleteSince you agree that it is ethical for parents to ask things of their kids, then how about this query:
ReplyDeleteCan you please come home soon? We miss you!
-D.A.D.