Bachelorette Party Foul

I've referenced and revered it, but the readership deserves a real response to the ABC franchise ruining my life.

I will freely admit (and, I think, have admitted) that I cannot and do not endorse ABC'S "The Bachelor" or its currently airing "spouse show", "The Bachelorette". I have more to say about this, but except that I think my friend is here to watch it with me, judging my the sound in the driveway. More on this point later.

...Aha! It is only GoddessMom who, like a good person, has declined to watch season 7 of B'ette, featuring cheery dental student and Brad Womack reject Ashley Hebert. This brings me to my number 1 point. Despite being a student of Gender and Women's Studies, an analyst of sexism in media and the kind of feminist who will be like 'Oh Come On, You're a Feminist' when you describe yourself as 'Not A Feminist', my major self-loathing as a B'ette aficionado isn't that it's patriarchal. It's that it's mean.

Last season's Bachelor Brad Womack won the heart of Southern Belle/Single Mom Emily, rejecting runner-up Chantal O. Something to be said for ABC pair of cash cows: the shows have gotta be among the most beautifully, or at least brilliantly, edited of all reality programs. Despite clues, it was nearly impossible to identify Emily as the winner before the big reveal. Even Reality Steve messed up.

I've watched more season of the Bachelor(ette) than I care to admit, but I'd never seen a finale so heartbreaking as Brad's dismissal of Chantal O. Viewers across the nation agreed that the goodbye seemed especially harsh. In the words of GoddessMom, "I'm never watching another season." In the words of MetaSwag, "Fuck this."

Hopefully, Ashley H. will not confuse anyone as much as Brad did last season. But I have little hope! The show will probably continue to destroy a lot more love than it creates. As for me, I can't begin to tell you how illogical and demeaning I find the experience of watching "The Bachelorette: Season 7". Because I'm only halfway done with the second episode. And we're going to Vegas!

The June Blogging Challenge

The Challenge is, if you want to write about a movie or some sort of film media on Wednesdays, you can!

Today I went to a Bloomington swimming pool called Mills. I haven't attended this swimming pool since approximately 2001. It's on the other side of town next to Trinorth middle school, which I did not attend. The slide there is pretty scary, because it lets you off about six feet above the water.

I asked a fellow swimmer in the slide line if he'd been on the slide before. He responded in the affirmative.

"Was it scary?" I asked.
"Not that much," he said consolingly. "The one at Bryan Park is way scarier."

I knew this not to be true, Bryan Park being "my pool", but decided to slide regardless.
It was pretty scary and felt bad when I plunged several feet below the water. It was probably symbolic of my "plunge into summer", except that so far plunging into summer has been really nice.

SummerBlog

Hey!

I haven't blogged in a while because
1. I've been studying for finals, and then
2. I've been chilling really hard on summer vacation!

Summer vacation has been so chill so far. So chill! I read My New American Life by Francine Prose and baked lemon squares from a box. Last night I saw Quinn play jazz at a Bloomington restaurant I've never before patronized and split a slice Quadruple Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake.

Except. Today I was newly alone in the house and I checked my berkeley.edu email, which I don't much in the summmer, and I'd gotten an email from my intern supervisor saying I hadn't clocked enough hours to get the three intended units added to my transcript. We will discuss options on the phone tomorrow.

Things could be much worse. I have a feeling I'm under time because I just miscalculated, and regardless I don't really need the units. I'm just irritated that BerkeleyStress has to come traipsing into SummerLand.

Never checking my email again.
Still in a pretty good mood.

United States of Gorgeous.

GoddessMom's photographs are so beautiful lately. Can't wait to get back into the picture game this summer.

At a library computer because my laptop debacle is still not solved. My dad offered to call Dell, but I opted to do it myself to demonstrate maturity, independence and responsibility. As such, Dell has not been called.

Last night, while the roommates went out and Jenna performed in her co-op's music and story night, I stayed in by myself eating peanut butter on rice cakes and watching "American Beauty".

FACT: I had never seen "American Beauty" before.
FACT: I had 7.5/10 expectations for "American Beauty", based on a synthesis of my dad's verbal reviews. We like all the same things, and we don't like ewoks.
FACT: After watching "American Beauty" alone in my dark apartment I was so disturbed that I watched about 25 minutes of "Soul Plane" on BET.

I guess that I liked "American Beauty". A few well-placed one-liners could have done wonders, though I suppose there was some joy in watching Annette sing "Don't Rain on My Parade". Annette! So great. Impossible to love her any more than I already do.

On the whole, I consider "American Beauty" to be one of the least pleasant films I have ever watched. I never enjoyed it. Somehow, though, it was a lot more palatable and engaging than Metaswag's Spring Break 2010 screening of "Blue Velvet". That night also saw me lose the minivan keys, inducing some external stress.

Home in 13 days!