Second Wednesday Movie Review!!!

I have to act fast, 'Sphere, before Laney comes to take me to the swimming pool.

Administrative matters presiding: an official Rock-on-Roll apology to my bro and fellow June challenge participant ProntoPup, who I just noticed was until now not on my blog roll. That was awkwardly composed. I didn't just wake up and notice that he was all of a sudden on the blog roll. I also didn't just wake up; it's 2 in the afternoon!

Truth be told, I watched almost nothing this week that could be called a movie by modern convention. I could review another music video, or make like Em-Dex and review something from the summer book list (Visit from the Goon Squad = dece but not that satisfying, Golden Gate = poignant and delightful, Death of A Salesman = well, you know). But as the Challenge Coordinator, I sort of feel like I should follow through with the original criterion.

Well, whatever. I will just review Episode 3 of The Bachelorette: Season 7, since judging by the search terms in my stats, that franchise generates all my non-friend traffic. Episode 3 is like a movie in that it is 90+ minutes long and completed scripted. HEY-OOOO!!!

Burn! But seriously. I've long speculated that B and B'ette are among the most manicured "reality" shows, but this season's really taking the cake. The departure of Evil Guy "Bentley" (if that really is your name), rife with self-congratulations on being the first contestant ever who "played everyone", annoyance at "girls who just never stop crying" voiced over images of a tenderly comforted Ashley, and particularly disturbing appeals to his (certifiably real?) five year-old daughter, all but confirms our suspicious that Chris Harrison's dictating more than the final rose each night.

Which sucks! Because it's way more fun to speculate that a show is staged than to know it. This over-the-top intervention has soured the third week of Ashley's journey. Those producers! What liars. Isn't this about finding TRUE love?