Aight Aight 'sphere. Done with a long, stressful week saying goodbye to my beautiful brother The Q and writing a take-home midterm and coughing a lot. And, might I add, not being prescribed antibiotics. I am sort of wondering if the doctor I saw at the TANG center knows that Alicia's cough is worse than mine and didn't give me antibiotics because he prescribes on a curve. By neglecting to see a doctor in the first place, Alicia has deprived the entire Berkeley population of Amoxicillin. Great, babe. Appreciate it.

Oh, man. Another thing I'm finally getting to do tonight is hulu Monday's The Bachelor: Episode 8. I have it up in another browser, and guess what? Brad Womack just said the first funny thing he has ever said after meeting Chantal O's little dog in a sweater. It was, "Hey, you know what's funny? Chantal told me Boca would bite me, but Boca loves me!" Thanks for letting us know, Brad. That is kinda funny!

Oh my gosh, this is unprecedented. A second joke? Humorous self-deprecation? Is this guy charming or something? This wave of humor has got me thinking about how my life would be different if Brad Womack were my Head Bro in Charge (Copyright: New York) instead of Megaswatrick. I wonder if I would get little text messages throughout the week that said things like "Sup RZA. 2/4 dads just hit your boy up w/ the Marriage Blessing. #HometownDates. #PatriarchySwag."

Speaking of which. Today GoddessMom and I talked on the phone and she told me that she thinks Metaswag is a great blog because of its rhythm, voice, and honesty. This made me feel kind of jealous, but also very proud and inspired. It's a little difficult to not subconsciously model this blog after this one, but I gotta keep it California real. Anyway, she might just have said this because she taught Metaswag how to write.

Next weekend I am going to Hartford to meet E.swee's Connecticut bros, who are named stuff like Lam. Incidentally, Carolyn knows who Lam is and referenced him yesterday. I think that's awesome. I like for everyone to know who everyone else is. Because, you know. It's a hella big country.

Holding down the fort

I write to you as we approach the Ides of Frugal February. I am calling it this because I am broke and have passed a resolution to live not within, but Below my means, as was recommended to me in a TIME magazine article about early retirement. I don't mean to be ungrateful about the considerable resources generously bestowed upon me by SuperFamily and the lucky end of capitalism, but where personal finances come into play, it's hard to get much lower than My Means. If my means were a limbo stick, only people like Snooki would be able to rollerskate underneath it. That being said, the week of February 7-13 was a fairly successful one, as my purchases were limited to one (1) box of Raisin Bran and four (4) packages of Ramen (2 chicken, 1 beef, and 1 problematically flavored "Oriental").

All this Not Buying Pastries for Breakfast has really taken its toll, and I would like nothing more than to descend into dreamland, but as you know, Gentle Readership, I have a job to do, and that job is to manage my awesome Bachelor challenge. You never know what could come up when your contestants don't all watch the program simultaneously. Especially one weeks like this one, when no one on the whole internet wants to tell you how many women are eliminated this week. That's why a truly dedicated Reality Challenge Blog Master comes up with regulations beforehand, so that when alittleleeway loses again this week, there can be no (probably just!) accusations of foul play. I know some RCBMs have had trouble with this concept in the past, and gosh, that's understandable! It's a tough job and it's certainly not for everyone. It doesn't take a color-coded spreadsheet to tell you that you've really either got it or you don't. But all that aside: CHALLENGERS (i.e., GoddessMom): Let's all pick 2 women for tomorrow, though there's a chance just one will go home. I suppose there's a chance everyone will go home; the only info I have is that there will be a steamy performance by Bankie Banx (?). My pix are Ashely H. and Britt, even though I love Britt. What a doll! And a food critic! I wonder what she thinks of Raisin Bran and Ramen. Guest blog opportunity? Britt, have your people contact my people.

Report from the Ground

I have an extra half-hour in GenEq and not too many tasks to complete. I think maybe I should be womanning the table on Sproul Plaza, but who's to say, really?

Carolyn is next to me, reading a BUST magazine article about the Top 10 Greatest Adulteresses of All Time. Number 1: Aphrodite. Number 2: The Virgin Mary (#Rude. #SorryMetaswag. #AndLaney. #AndNana. #Catholicism). I have never committed adultery, but I have also never been married. Until my potential nuptials come to fruition, I will have to find another way to make it onto a BUST Top 10 list (#Jokes! #SorryNanaAgain.)

For example, Top 10 Gender Equity Resource Center Interns who Blog instead of Tabling.

My Doing Feminist Research class is reading an exemplar text for our humanistic inquiry unit called The Promise of Happiness by Sara Ahmed. A major point is that getting married is culturally linked to happiness, even though really, it shouldn't be! (#Uplifting. #ThanxSaraAhmed.) Which brings me to my two-person Bachelor Challenge. It should be noted that GoddessMom has not submitted her votes, so I will probably win by default with my suggestion that Brad Womack will eliminate Allie and Jackie tonight, thereby shattering their chances at cultural happiness. After reading Sara Ahmed's text and watching this season of The Bachelor, I would strongly recommend that the remaining women not marry Brad Womack. It won't make you happy, and unless you plan on committing adultery, it won't win you any kudos from BUST magazine. Plus, the guy is a mess.

Notes on Brad Womack

I hate blogging because it makes me emotional. I feel emotional. Plus, Metaswag listed me as his first friend link even though

1. This blog is clearly dead.
2. His other friends' blogs are clearly alive.
3. I didn't call Eliya after my grocery trip like I said I would.

...This third point is unrelated but made apparent by her Skype notification.

Fine, fine, I'll blog. But I'm only going to blog about ABC's The Bachelor. Keep reading. I'm feeling emotional. You can skip to the next hyphenated paragraph if you're short on time. ...Thanks for being a true blog follower if you're reading this sentence. Anyway, what I would really like is to sponsor a Bachelor challenge on this blog. It will be kind of like prontopup's Top Chef challenge, the only differences being

1. This will be a lot less corrupt
2. Many people watch Top Chef. Only GoddessMom and I watch the Bachelor.
2a. And maybe The Savvy Mom? Or my beloved J-Dubs? But probz not.

As a result of the combination of these two factors,

3. GoddessMom will probably win.

-- (PICK UP HERE, EFFICIENCY READERS) I know it isn't good to watch The Bachelor. When I tell people that I do it, they say wince and say, "Ha ha, tell everyone you're just doing it for Gender Studies research purposes!" I refuse to do this

1. Because it is a lie.
2. There is much to be mined on the bachelor in terms of cultural significance, but I have no original insights- it's pretty much just hella sexist, white-people-only reality television.
3. Why would I walk around announcing that I watch a two-hour-long weekly television show- alone in my room on my personal computer- "for Gender Studies research purposes"? Who would want to talk to somebody like that?

Anyway, I'm sad that I didn't call Eliya and I hope Bloomington likes being buried in snow and ice and everything nice.

Because Metaswag linked to and consequently revived my blog, I am dedicating it to him and to his one year relationship with Rachel Jordan and to Rachel Jordan. And to Brad Womack for being, you know. The Bachelor.